self talk usually consists of fears and beliefs that have been built up over a number of years and operate on a subconscious level. These limiting beliefs, fears and excuses get in our way and hold us back but we have the ability to change this.
First listen to your inner dialogue and catch what you are saying. If you find yourself being critical, indecisive, harsh and negative you are damaging yourself with your negative self talk.
Typical negative self talk:
- I cannot change – it’s in my blood/family
- I will never be a success
- I always attract the wrong people
- I always get it wrong
- I am responsible for how other people feel
- I am worthless
- I am unlucky
- I have no confidence
- I’m no good at ….
- No one would be attracted to me
- It will never work
- Why does this always happen to me
- Things won’t last (only about good things)
- This will never end (only about bad things)
- I’m not good enough, clever enough, pretty enough e.t.c.
- Life is hard…..
Once you become aware of any negative self talk, you have the power to turn it around by reshaping how you think. Using positive affirmations are a great way to start.
Whenever you catch yourself thinking negatively, do not beat yourself up, just accept that thought and turn it into a more loving thought. Try these for a few weeks and see how you get on.
“Each day I am getting better and better and I completely love and accept myself”.
“Each day I am more and more positive and I completely love and accept myself”
This may feel really strange at first and you may not believe that you are getting better and better or becoming more positive or that you do love and accept yourself but you do not have to believe the phrases to say them. Even if it feels 100% untrue, it is a good place to start and one day you will begin to believe it.
You could also soften the phrase.e.g.
- I would like to love and accept myself
- It would be nice to love and accept myself.
- I’m in the process of loving and accepting myself.
- I’m learning to deeply love and accept myself.
- I accept myself.
- I have love for myself which extends out to others.
Your thoughts and feelings shape your reality and until you learn how to completely love yourself, you will continue to be plagued by indecision and self doubt etc. In more extreme cases there is self hatred and depression which cripples you in every area of your life. The self-focused negativity cuts you off from your higher self and your true potential.
If you continue to think negative thoughts you will not be able to truly love yourself and you will attract back events and circumstances that cause you to feel more negative.
Books CD’s and DVD’s of world renowned inspirational teacher ‘Louise Hay’ have certainly helped me over the years to change the way I think. Her philosophy offers profound insights into the relationship between the mind and body and her ideas and strategies have worked for millions of people all over the world.
If you are struggling to love and accept yourself, you may find the following link helpful.
Lots of love